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In Loving Memory of Mamama

 “Mamama” (as all of her grandchildren used to call her), was a strong, independent and a modern grandmother, she lived her life ahead of her time.  Her immense wisdom, experience and peacefulness, combined with her peculiar way to look at life, made her a genuine and unique woman. She was constantly encouraging, not only her daughters, granddaughters and great-granddaughters, but also every woman crossing her path, to work, make and save their own money for unexpected future situations. She knew very well that women are the foundation of every home.

Mamama or Dora, which was her real name, was born in July 29, 1923 in a small town called Pisco, by the green ocean and is very well known for its cotton harvest.  Pisco is located south ofLima which is the capital city ofPeru.  By coincidence she was born the same day the whole country celebrates the Independence- perhaps that is why she had always been a free thinker.  She was the second daughter of Matías Calderón and Domitila Borda.  Her parents had a bad experience with the older daughter who studied in a Catholic school and was punished several times under its system; therefore they decided to register Dora intoLimaHigh School, led by American Methodist Sisters who were considered open minded and where she obtained the education that would be key in her life.

When she was ten years old, Dora moved toLima and without any knowledge of English, she became an intern atLimaHigh School.  After a year, she had learned English and made long life friends.  She spent the next seven years at this school where she gained valuable knowledge about housekeeping, cooking, pastry making, painting, typing, stenography and accounting; tools that would later benefited her in many ways and lead her to be an independent woman. 

In the year 1940, at a time of World War II, Dora’s dream was to become a nurse.  She won a scholarship to study nursing in the United States, but unfortunately her mom did not allow her to leave and Dora was heart broken.  At that time in Peru and especially in a small city like Pisco, most women’s goals were to get married and have children; however Dora did not want to get married.  After finishing high school at the age of seventeen, she returned to her dear hometown, and started working as an English teacher. She was very excited about being able to make money.  She posted a sign at the Pisco’s only movie theater saying: “Young woman coming from Lima, knowledgeable in English, offers classes to anybody interested in learning”. The sign was projected in the big screen before every movie, and Dora became very successful. Many people in the small town were intrigued with the classes and with these brave young woman; one of them was my grandfather, Mario.  Mario Benavides worked as an account at the Pisco Train Station, when together with four of his friends were curious and joined the classes. They were all competing to win a bet - to become the boyfriend of the young and pretty English teacher.

At age of eighteen, Dora’s life was taking place between teaching classes at home and at a private school.  At home, Mario and his friends were giving her a hard time; they kept asking difficult questions and making jokes that made her flushed over and over again.  She tried to be firm and strict with them, but Mario’s great sense of humor ended up wining her heart.  Six months later, Mario and Dora were crazy in love, they got engaged, and married two years later at Pisco’s Cathedral.  It was December 26, 1943.              Mario did not want Dora to work.  He became the General Manager of the Train Station in Pisco and later in the city ofPaita. They had five children, three girls and two boys. His excellent salary provided a comfortable status to the whole family. But, one day the destiny of the Benavides family changed drastically.  Mario had an accident injuring his back; he was in pain for several months.  He had to resign to his job and the family had to move toLimawhere Mario could get the medical treatment he needed.  He could not go back to work because of this injury and they had to live on their savings.  Dora was then forced to earn a living at the age of thirty seven.  She started making apple pies; then the whole family became involved with the business; the living and dinning rooms of the small apartment, became temporary storage of flour, margarine, sugar, etc. The demand for her pies kept growing and she increased the variety of the pastries she was baking, also starting to make wedding and birthday cakes.  Due to her passion for cooking and baking, she became knowledgeable, but wanted to keep learning more, so she started collecting recipes from different parts of the world, buying cooking books and watching TV shows about cooking.  After years of hard work, the Benavides family was able to move to a new and a pretty house. Dora was then forty five years old, the children were grown adults, and Mario supported the family business.

One day, while she was watching her favorite TV Show: “Cooking with Teresa”, a letter from a TV fan was read in which she was asking about an old and traditional recipe original from Pisco. Teresa asked the TV audience for help. Dora wrote a letter letting her know that she was familiar with the recipe. Shortly after, Teresa and Dora met and became very good friends. Teresa invited Dora to her program and Dora started baking and cooking on TV.  She was then fifty five years old and had her own weekly television show.  Every woman was fascinated and encouraged by her, she liked to say all the time: “A woman who knows to work with her hands never will be hungry”. The program received many letters from TV fans, asking to have Dora more often. There were many times when Dora was in charge of the entire TV show for several weeks. 

At the same time, she started working from home teaching classes to housewives who wanted to earn their own money. She had basic and advanced groups, and in summer time she was giving classes to little girls. Besides the classes, she continued making beautiful wedding and birthday cakes, which became famous. Mario was on charge of making the cake supports, bases, the electric circuits and the deliveries.

In October 1^st, 1988, when Dora was sixty five years old, Mario passed away. It left Dora devastated. The love of her life, her best friend and right hand was gone.  She spent two months away with her eldest daughter, Betty. The death of Mario definitely affected her life.  After that she stopped the TV show, and despite her sadness, she started working from home again. Unfortunately, her health was deteriorating and she was not a young woman anymore.  In the past, she had survived ovarian cancer, a heart by pass surgery, and then she had to face osteoporosis which was giving her hip problems.  Because of these reasons, she could not teach anymore. Instead she started making pastries from home, and Betty, her eldest daughter moved in with her and helped her with deliveries. 

At the age of seventy two, Dora had the idea to set up a small coffee shop at home, and counting with Betty’s help, they were able to do so.  They made different kinds of sandwiches, pastries, coffee and tea. In the summer time, they made ice cream, smoothies, and fruit juices.  At the age of eighty four, Dora was still a successful woman, even though she faced health problems, and had to deal with the financial reality of living in a third world country.

Years pass and Dora's health gradually deteriorated, she had to get used to using a walker and a few years later a wheelchair. Right after she turned 90 years old Dora had to lie in her bed for long periods of time. Her daughter Betty, as a professional nurse, gave her the best care ever, until the day she died October 31^st 2015 when she was 92 years old.

During her entire life, her biggest strengths were her ability to keep a young heart and young soul, to maintain her faith even when future was uncertain and her strong desire to work.  Her legacy: five professional children, 16 grand-children, 17 great-great-grand children, one great grand  and many women who learned from her ability to work and be independent.

Mamama was my mentor and a role model to follow. She was my grandmother, godmother and spiritual guide, she supported throughout college and overall, she encouraged me to be an independent thinker. 
Thank you Mamama for have been part of my life!